Jikkyou Oshaberi Parodius: ~Forever With Me~ (Arcade / PSP) Review

 (Originally posted on September, 2017)

                                       

(2007, PSP)

The fourth Parodius game was originally released straight to several mid-90s Japanese home consoles and later revived on the PlayStation Portable. Roughly translating into “Current Situation Chatting Parodius,” the title refers to the voice actor furnished commentary that adds even more madness to the series.  It seems counterproductive that a shoot-em-up is so eager to promote that it actively distracts the player, but how else can you top prior encounters with outer space Moai heads, cat battle ships and giant tutu wearing pandas? If you’re going to walk on ice, you might as well dance…

Whether dodging the fire of arcade light guns scanning your movements or blasting through traditional Japanese seaweed crackers and sets of ‘Kitsune Bakuchi’ dice, the obvious talents (language barrier or not) of Jōji Yanami and Noriko Ohara provide another layer of chaos that’s as uniquely immersive as it is distracting. As you make your way through the occasional narrow corridors customary to Konami shooters, the drawn out, self-amused warnings of Dragonball’s Yanami are particularly hilarious: (Semai yoooooo~/It’s crrrammpppedd in here~!). Choosing from the ever expanding roster of Konami all-stars and unassuming new inter-galactic defenders, you’ll journey through entire stages dedicated to mocking other Konami games; doing so more boldly than previous attempts and often to great success…

~The action starts in an unidentifiable gorgeous and bustling night time city where colored light beams and fully lit skyscrapers illuminate all sorts of madness: King Kong, dinosaurs, window climbers and whatever else you can spot without being shot down. After flying past references to Osaka’s famous Dotonbori Street, you’ll find yourself in a nightclub where the laugh out loud remix of KC and the Sunshine Band’s ‘That’s The Way I Like It’ has been replaced on the PSP by an intriguing, moodier rendition of Dance Dance Revolution’s ‘B2U’.

~Progressing to the Tokimeki Memorial High School stage, the student body is largely made up of Konami’s Pentarou Penguins. Within the school grounds, a group of bully birds with comically huge Japanese pompadours harass a lone, unlucky classmate. If this sounds unrealistic, wait till you see the awaiting tower of schoolgirl bosses.

~Having not even played Twinbee series, the Donburi Island stage was by far my favorite. Closer to the ground than in the actual games, take in the carefree vibes of the far reaching plains, gorgeous ocean cliffs, emerald waterfalls and even some Alice in Wonderland references before the sun sets and you battle a whole series of wacky bosses. The heavily equipped gang makes its presence felt with the funkiest music in the game.

~Evoking my love for the Super Nintendo’s first two Ganbare Goemon games, the massive ninja yashiki (mansion) heavily uses level and enemy designs from the underrated adventure platformers. Poorly disguised penguins replace the karakuri ninjas; plumper but just as overzealous in the attempt to dive on you katana first. As you make your way to a most familiar boss duo, you’re treated to a ridiculous yet perfectly apt 1960s surfer rock remix of the series’ NES theme.

~Taking after the gorgeous and obscure Konami shooter, the Xexex stage is very alien and stressfully claustrophobic, made worse by the far too elegant classical music. That being said, it’s strangely fun to visit for the brief freak out. There must be more than just sugar and food coloring in all that candy…

~Finally, I was overjoyed to see the admittedly mediocre, yet fondly recalled Lethal Enforces referenced with a gritty mid-90s digital photo style stage and the unforgettable pair of gaudy pink and turquoise guns constantly firing and…“RELOAD!”ing at you. The fun doesn’t end here, as even more games beyond my scope of familiarity are brought up. If you’re any sort of Konami fan, you simply must visit Jikkyou’s take on all these games for yourself.

Despite improving the presentation even further, the pace of the action takes some major hits, as boss fights are a bit too lengthy to mesh with the game’s one hit death rule. Even after multiple playthroughs, it’s all too easy to die and be sent back by a minute or two to power up your ship for another long fight, which may exhaust your attention span sooner than the life counter. Built to last as a pricey, stand-alone console exclusive, the main quest contains hidden fairies which can be accumulated to unlock features and characters. Jikkyou Oshaberi Parodius may rank a bit below Parodius Da and Gokujou Parodius in overall enjoyment, but is still well worth playing. You can memorize bullet patterns and enemy waves in any other SHMUP, but this may be the only occasion where maintaining restraint in reaction to a voice actor’s well-timed comment is just as important.