(Originally posted in 2015)
(1995, Super Famicom)
Leaving out all the spinoffs, over the decades there's been a good twenty or so of Goemon's never duplicated (never even imitated!) adventure-platformers. Ganbare Goemon Kirakira Dōchū: Boku Ga Dansa- Ni Natta Riyuu, much more easily referred to as Goemon 4, has sat idle on my game shelf for several years. With the series stuck in Konami's holding cell since the lukewarm DS release and the future looking bleak, I've been taking my time in exploring all the lesser known, Japanese only releases. Information on Goemon 4 is rather limited, but certainly impresses from screen shots. A unique planet for each member of your group: the classic gang of Goemon, Ebisumaru, Sasuke and Yae. Large, beautiful cutscene and menu art. Rather substantial mini-games. Voices and rich late-generation 16-bit graphics. Even a robot Ryu and Guile! Switching on the game with high hopes, I nevertheless came to understand why this ninja game hides in the shadows of the Super Famicom library...
Goemon 4 is not a bad game per-say, but doesn't reach the status of an above average (or even decent) platformer like others in the series. For better or worse, Goemon games tend to get carried away by a sense of whimsy that borders on instability, a trend which can definitely be felt here. More so than many other releases, the game suffers for putting more effort into novelty and wackiness than the basics, leaving the player with a very tone deaf difficulty curve and design choices that don't fit the game's engine. Most of Goemon 4 felt like the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears...and you're rarely eating from the good bowl. While a small portion is pretty tasty, the vast majority of the platforming is rather effortless and unsatisfying, then out of nowhere a hugely annoying roadblock will demand dozens and dozens of attempts that inevitably require consulting a guide or YouTube run. Not completely shaking off the puzzle heavy grip of Goemon 3, many of the action-packed levels are designed to be more exploration based with plenty of vertical and horizontal scrolling. That means the return of the larger sprites and zoomed in camera (which worked great for the straight forward Goemon 2) are suddenly a bad fit here.
In all the suffering I'm about to describe, at least the game is liberal with resume points, including after game overs, but even though you'll often be tempted to give up. Some of the most rage inducing moments:
- Exploring some underground caverns, Goemon has to carefully chase a baseball in flight as it entices the big-headed stars from Konami's Pro Yakyuu series to take a swing, giving you a brief window of time to jump on their extended bats. At the end of this long chasm, Goemon MUST do his (barely differentiable) running jump to make it back on land. The game doesn't clearly communicate this, despite such a tricky segment making you want to do anything BUT run.
- In the underwater mermaid segments, you're tasked with moving the relatively huge Yae through what's essentially a cramped fishtank packed with danger. In unusual video game logic, harpoons are a hazard if they make contact while swimming at normal speed, but are repelled by propelling straight into them.
- Sasuke's dungeon is packed full of walls that can only overcome by climbing up with his kunai, which leaves him in danger of being knocked into a bottomless pit. This would be an acceptable challenge for the capable karakuri if not for the game's zoomed in camera. Getting through this part is more about rote memorization than skills or intuition.
- I literally tapped out at the final boss fight, which relies much more heavily on button mashing than actual skill. With no turbo controller and so many other games to play, after a couple days I stopped here and just watched the ending on youtube. A bit of my shame was relieved upon seeing the player who beat the game was almost certainly relying on a turbo function.
- To acquire key items and abilities, the towns force rather clumsy memorization-style mini games and dialogue trees. Deflating the whoopie-cushion of humor the series is famous for, Obisumaru's challenge for Ebisumaru can be taken as rather mean spirited.
With mostly anemic platforming and burdensome side quest design, I generally don't like this game, but there's still some solid content and plenty of tiny moments that diehard fans can appreciate. If nothing else, go through Yae's world. As she's a newcomer to the (traditional) series, her levels seem to have gotten most of the attention and care while the other worlds felt rather hurriedly produced. The Neptune-esque planet she visits features heavenly towns and rather decent levels, beautifully decorated with mysterious ships out far in the sea and majestic, small floating islands where the lucky mansion owner enjoys a self generating waterfall. A fun surfing segment has you repeatedly avoiding the breach of Jaws (drawn like the ghostly one seen on the 1974 novel!). Her creepy HG Geiger inspired Golf Course is by far the most interesting of the sports-themed dungeons. The music in here is the absolute best: strange and foreboding yet keeps a strong energy and a fun groove. The playful plucking of strings juxtaposed by spooky tones was almost certainly inspired by Nami Shimada's 1989 "Sun Shower".
A number of additional neat touches: After getting past the more traditional mini-bosses of the dungeons, the biggest fights are decided by mini games. Some you'll be in a rush to get over with. Others are rather fun, like the tense Puyo Puyo clone for Yae or Sasuke's Impact skating game which uses the controller in out-of-the-box way. As if the enemies and characters of Goemon weren't weird enough, now all the "usual" Japanese monsters and Edo-era villagers have an even more bizarre extraterrestrial take to them. With each new location, there are plenty of neat things to watch out for, like the appearance of the 'Flatwoods Monster,' an American E.T. legend that shows up in many a Japanese game. As usual, the music is well above average. "Maniac Genie" is wonderfully playful and busy with powerful drums and a faint Middle Eastern vibe. Inside of a martial arts-based dungeon, Sasuke takes on some robot boxers while you can hear a hint of the bass from "Eye of the Tiger" every so often. Having to go through 5 rounds on one life bar, it took me dozens of attempts to defeat the boxers, but it was a fair enough challenge that I found all the time worth it. Finally, later on in the game there's a cool trick: holding down a button when switching characters will bring out pleasing 'classic' colors, such as the Famicom era's white Ebisumaru and a "Mystical" blue-haired Yae.
There's a reason why the first two Super Famicom games received a Game Boy Advance port and steady mention among retro gamers, while the later two are largely forgotten outside of the (Japanese only, or course) Virtual Console releases. Like the Zelda-inspired Goemon 3, Goemon 4's lack of planning and polish can't keep up with its attention grabbing antics. The game is comedy and gimmicks first, solid design second. Yae's world was pretty fun, but for the most part it's better to watch a playthrough than trying to tackle the game personally. Overall I recommend passing on this one...unless you're a collector out to assemble an army of most conspicuous ninjas to watch over your game room.
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