Ganbare Goemon Gaiden: Kieta Ōgon Kiseru (Go for it, Goemon! Side Story: The Disappearance of the Golden Pipe) Review

 (Originally posted on April, 2016)

(1990, Famicom)

(Though I own the cart, the game was played on an emulator.)

The Ganbare Goemon series isn’t just about adventure-platforming through various imaginings of a bizzaro Edo-Japan. There are also puzzle, board games and even several full-fledged RPGs. The first among them, the Famicom’s Ganbare Goemon Gaiden: Kieta Ōgon Kiseru, was played on an emulator for the PSP, as I find portability and the speed-up button to be a god-send in easing the redundancies of many JRPGs. As an offering to make up for this impure deed, the cartridge, with its trippy, confusing but mischievously fun scene was placed prominently on my game shelf to admire with each pass…a little something to keep the spirit inside happy. The adventure begins with Goemon returning home from a long journey, shocked to find that his most valuable family heirloom (a golden pipe) has gone missing. Ebisumaru, somewhat of the Steve Urkel to Goemon’s Carl Winslow, immediately barges in to mercifully bail out his friend. As if Goemon’s not already saying “See what I gotta deal with,” next you receive the news that Goemon’s crush Omitsu has been kidnapped yet again. Exiting their always bustling home town of Hagure Village, the world that opens up before you is not of pits and projectiles, but Earthbound/Dragon Quest style turn-based battling…

With nearly every entry in the Ganbare Goemon series having such compelling worlds, townsfolk and baddies, the blue-haired ninja makes a perfect fit for an RPG. Here you’re given stats, inventory, magic spells, battle commands, an over world, dungeons, bosses, mini quests and everything else expected out of your standard FF/DQ clone. That being said, nothing about the gameplay is particularly unique or extraordinary, outside of being an authentic enough genre transition to earn a kick out of fans. Gaiden is most notable for debuting Yae, who became an especially important character in the stateside N64 games. Kobun Neko (Kobun Cat), whom you may have rescued from the Lantern Man in The Legend of Mystical Ninja for the SNES, is also a playable character and the lone recipient of Ninja Babe Yae’s affection. Back in the 90s, I thought he was named after singer Kurt Cobain, not the ancient Japanese currency.

Featuring a huge over world, you’ll travel not just the entirety of Japan but also spend a few hours over in China, take a plane (?!) to the tropics and even sail by turtle in Konami’s take on the tale of Urashima Taro. The lack of an in-game map can make navigation confusing, but fortunately Ebisumaru quickly gains the ability to warp to the many towns and ports which you’ll often revisit. The town sections feel remarkably like your standard Goemon games, each full of people to talk to, problems to solve, item shops, inns, saunas and even special “performances” to take a peep at. All in all, I had plenty of fun touring the world, running into interesting villagers and many dozens of warped but culturally significant, well-animated enemies. Japan’s own ‘sumo dog’, the Tosa Inu, rolls up to you in tank form. Ancient ‘Haniwa’ potteries come to life and are out to smash themselves on your head. In the China section, there’s a variety of what appears to be traditional monsters of the land (other than the vampires, the JiangShi, I don’t know nothing). Fans of the series’ wonderfully weird enemies will not be disappointed here.

Not all is perfect, as the game stumbles when having to make sense of the huge, maze like castles and caves, where numerous random encounters interrupt your mental map creation. Even the first lair is annoyingly long, confusing and repetitive. The problem isn’t quite so bad after getting Kobun Neko’s ‘Deru Deru’ ability, which warps you out of the dungeon as quickly as a cat can jump out of a bathtub. Tired of running around in circles and easily toppling enemies, yet too lazy to go buy some grid paper, I often relied on a guide or watching someone’s trek on youtube to figure out the proper route. The equipment system is also a slight pain with its archaic 1990 design. Before equipping a new item, you’ll have to memorize/write down your current stats, put on the new item and immediately go back to the status screen to compare numbers. Remarkably straight forward and easily defeated, pretty much every boss, even the final ones were total pushovers. Of the dozens of JRPGs I’ve tried, the bosses here were by far the easiest. At several points in the game, certain groups of regular enemies gave me more trouble. With virtually none of the battles requiring a substantial amount of both time and strategy, I had little need to experiment with most of the spells beyond the essential HP restoration and antidote.

Goemon games have some great music, as do many an RPG. And what do you know…here they make a wonderful combination! “Castle Theme” pushes the player away with its sense of danger hiding in the shadows, while at the very same time the compelling, sneaky vibe pulls you further in to the forbidden zone. “Boss defeated” is eerily pretty for a Famicom track. “Forest” has a similar, but more mysterious and slightly sinister sound. “Dragons Palace” sounds remarkably like Super Mario Bros’ classic “Underwater Theme” yet at the same time entirely original. The graphics are surprisingly detailed for the NES/Famicom. Colors were carefully chosen, with generous animations to be found everywhere. Even shopkeepers bow behind their counters. Battles feature tons of animation, with many enemies having modified frames for different attacks. Best of all, both the enemies and your party icons make hilariously stupid faces when attacked! You’ll notice detailed touches such as battle backgrounds changing when you enter certain sub-rooms in dungeons and carefully placed, single-pixel texturing on the grass, sand and wooden floors you’re fighting on.

Kieta Ougon Kiseru is a decent, but aged and clunky RPG which mainly relies on the many strange happenings Goemon always runs in to…with little to show in compelling game design. Most of the experience was merely decent, with the worst half, the dungeons, fortunately being more of a manageable annoyance than a disaster. As only a very small amount of players will want to devote the time/energy to extract the very nice sprite work, music and plot/humor within, the game is recommended only for hardcore, Japanese literate Goemon fans that can’t get enough of the series. For everyone else, there’s a far more condensed and unique experience waiting in the mainline games. That being said, if you managed to read these 1100+ words about an obscure, nearly 30 year old Japan-only RPG, maybe the first Ganbare Goemon: Gaiden is just the game for you!