(Originally posted March 4, 2016)
(1988, Famicom)
(Though I own the cart, the game was played on an emulator.)
As a young kid in the late 80s, Konami was just about the coolest game developer around. Not even counting what they had going on in arcades, for the NES there was Contra, Castlevania, The Goonies, Top Gun, Gradius, TMNT and so many more…are you kidding me or what?! No matter the state of the company today, they managed to produce a ton of classic (or at least very interesting) works that I’m still discovering decades later. For example: Often renting The Legend of the Mystical Ninja for the Super Nintendo, even 20+ years ago I knew there had to be something to the over-joyed, somewhat mischievous looking face plastered over the entrance to some of the mini-game halls. That whole time it was Konami Man, who along with Konami Woman, were the main characters of an “all-stars” platformer-adventure that I didn’t even know about until a few years ago, Konami Wai Wai World.
Reading about and looking at pictures of a single title taking you all across Konami’s warm and nostalgic ventures on the NES, I thought this had to be one of the greatest games I never played. What a treat it would be to compile so many of Konami’s successful games into one original package, back when they were arguably at their peak...why were we American kids deprived of something so amazing? Upon actually playing it, maybe ‘spared’ is the better word…but first, let me offer a brief rundown of the stages and characters. Backed up in the lab by twin scientists Cinnamon/Saimon and Pentarou the Penguin, Konami Man and Konami Lady can enter your choice of 6 initial stages to rescue the heroes who are trapped inside, but eager to join your party and get revenge against the evil Waruda.
- Mikey (Pirate Cavern): I watched the movie a million times, but didn’t have a ton of experience with Konami’s game adaptions outside of possibly trying the original on a PlayChoice-10 and visiting a friend who had a copy of Goonies 2 on the NES. Taking place in the caverns where One Eyed Willie’s ship rests, you’ll fight various sea life and cute but devilish rats before rescuing Mikey, who can enter small tunnels but otherwise looks and plays like a runt compared to the rest of your gang of imposing super heroes and giants. Acting as most people’s default stage, you’re given a rude awakening to the game’s brutish design right after making your way underground. Getting past the small platforms guarded by sea anemones is nearly impossible without Goemon or Simon Belmont’s long range weapons, something that Konami should have perhaps dropped a hint about immediately upon starting the level.
- Goemon (Edo Japan): In one of the game’s best stages, you’ll do battle with all sorts of guards, ninjas and Japanese monsters while swiftly travelling all the way from the seaside, through a town, over mountains and inside of a huge castle and it’s unnervingly lofty top, guarded by ‘mystical’ far-eastern flying dragons. Some of the series’ trademark mini-game rooms can be found inside the buildings. Thoughtful background details such as ships, tiny islands and more offer an impressive touch. During the middle of the night, a perfect time for some ninja action, lights from buildings far in the distance even reflect off the ocean’s surface! Looking more like Dragonball’s Yajirobi than a lean, effective ninja, the fat-faced Goemon can open up treasure boxes and attacks with the highest rapidity of anyone.
- Fuma (Hell): Dreary and filled with swift and fearsome monsters that make Edo Japan’s slimy kappas and haunted lanterns look like house pets, the stage is made up bright blues, greens and crimsons that contrast so beautifully that you may forget you’re playing on the ancient Famicom. Shimenawa rope and intricately drawn, well shaded and fearsome statues decorate the decaying buildings. Best of all, Fuma’s theme is up there with the most classic of anything ever composed by Konami. Hearing such great 8-bit sounds for the first time, decades after release, is a treat to experience.
- Simon Belmont III (Dracula’s Castle): The best stage in the game, Konami did a wonderful job at combining the outer courtyard, interior, and underground sewers into a single, multi-tiered level to explore. Much easier than the source material, it’s a party inside Dracula’s castle as all sorts of skeletons, corpses and assorted creatures are on your tail. Home to some of the easier enemies in the game, you’ll find yourself returning here often to stock up on health and bullets/currency. You have the option to basically play “blind” at the start of this level, barely paying attention to the screen as you run from left to right mashing the attack button and picking up item drops from the easily toppled blue zombies.
- King Kong (The Big City): I know almost nothing about Konami’s King Kong game, but after navigating the somewhat cramped level and defeating an amusing flying mecha-kong boss, it’s great to unlock perhaps the best character in King Kong, who possesses excellent attack power and jumping ability. Having him throw bananas somehow breaks up the square stones blocking your way throughout the game.
- Moai Head (Gradius): Nothing says Konami’s golden age like playing as Gradius’ Moai Head. The slow but tough statue is found in the low point of the game, an exceptionally frustrating labyrinth filled with dangerous boulders, European inspired dragon mini bosses and fireball hurling statues. This is where I got so fed up with quick deaths that I had to truly ‘cheat’ with save/load states on the emulator.
- Twin-Bee/Gradius stage: The most fun I had in the whole game was in piloting Twinbee and the Vic-Viper for some refreshing vertical shooter action that’s not too tough and ends with a huge, cool boss rivaling that epic serpent on the Life Force box (another Konami game). This was my first real exposure to Twin-Bee besides the Parodius appearances and that one song from Dance Dance Revolution. I had so much fun I’d like to give the series a look one day.
- Final stage: Surprisingly not the hardest level in the game. All you have to do is run away from the cyclopes looking to sting you in a rather rude way and giant, translucent flying Metroid-like parasites, until reaching the areas where you can farm life from the push-over synapse-like aliens that spring up. Once you get to the final boss, victory is as simple as doing nothing but jumping towards the center, spamming it with attacks and switching out characters before a tense but very manageable final challenge is issued. Just be sure to grab the armor and/or power upgrade first, as I suspect it’s impossible to endure the last boss’ attacks without them, no matter your skill level.
Now that I got all those mostly enticing descriptions of the stages and characters done with, time to deliver the bad news. No matter how much classic Konami coolness the game’s wrapped in, there are a bunch of big issues with the fundamentals:
- Your character must be oriented rather far towards either side the screen to initiate scrolling, which is an especially bad deal since enemies often come at you FAST. What’s more, if your character overlaps an enemy, your attacks likely won’t register, but of course you’ll continuously receive damage from mere contact. The combat struck me as sloppy from the first minute of playing, and got increasingly frustrating as the stages increased in challenge. This is a big disappointment since combat plays such a huge part of the game.
- The player is rewarded more for running like hell through most of the stages and farming life from easy spots than embracing the challenge head on. The only hint of engagement with the battle system came from positioning the character carefully and hitting the buttons fast enough to pull off a chain combo to kill off tougher enemies before they could attack. Overall, the combat is a means to an end (What does the boss look like? What’s in the next level? Better keep mashing buttons!), but doesn’t offer much intrinsic fun by itself.
- Rather than switch from the pause screen or select button, special weapons must be toggled by crouching and hitting jump in the heat of battle, further draining my desire to master the game. Also, by having to switch characters by pushing the up and attack button mid-game, you may find yourself accidentally swapping them during tense moments.
- I have a hunch that most of those who beat this on an actual Famicom were persistent in only the way kids with far more time than money can be, as even with the game’s password feature, the backtracking penalty for a game over is ridiculous. Should one of your characters die, which will often happen, you must gather 100 valuable bullets to have Dr. Saimon resurrect just one ally, a process taking way too much time for an action platformer. I tried my best to use save states to reduce redundancy, making my own checkpoints in areas where I could farm life/bullets and also pre/post boss-fight, without “cheating” screen by screen (Except for the Maoi Statue stage) but even then the game often got very frustrating and often felt more like busywork than entertainment. I honestly would have given up after the first hour if not for save/load states. The combination of the flawed combat system and being required to mindlessly bash enemies for 15+ minutes to resurrect everyone rapidly gets annoying enough to spoil the whole experience. 0 to 100. Real quick.
Climbing out of my quicksand pit of complaints about the game design, the graphics are generally excellent, offering a ton of variety but are sometimes too garish, as you have to carefully watch for stairs which could be a bit more obvious. The worst offense is at the beginning of the Goonies stage, where a single white step taking you to the caves is very hard to spot against the bright and busy pirate ship and docks. No complaints at all about the soundtrack, which includes classics such as “Vampire Killer” and the new, like Konami Man/Lady’s catchy music. A glorious idea with far more flash than substance, the game is essentially an unpolished mixture of Metroid and Mega Man, unable to pull off the satisfying exploration and growth of the former or tight, immediately rewarding challenge of the later. Still, it’s such a cool celebration of NES-era Konami that you really want to forgive its flaws and enjoy the get together. With a game I never played until this year still managing to bring back memories of spending weekends at my Grandparents’ house (who introduced me to the NES!), waking up early on Saturday mornings to watch Video Power and Captain N, then spending afternoons finding friends in the street to play the NES with, I trudged on to the end, enjoying more of what was going on in my head than on the screen.
Unless you’re a real life Super Man Konami Man at platformers, the game is best played on an emulator or the Virtual Console, where you can alter the rules a bit. Besides the Maoi Statue stage, it’s not that the game needed to be easier, but the unpolished gameplay and absurd/grinding backtracking you must do after taking a loss makes it one of ‘those’ NES games that will always be cool, but didn’t age well at all. I’m sure it’s not quite as frustrating the second time around once you know the upgrade locations, boss quirks and the most efficient order of progress, but I’m sure not in the mood to find out. I don’t regret purchasing or playing the game, but can’t see myself ever replaying it unless company wants to see what the busy, sweet looking cartridge is all about. What’s somewhat sad is that it could easily be a top 50 NES game if (re)programmed with better physics and difficulty balance. No major changes to the level design or fundamental ideas necessary. The building materials for a grand palace of Konami action are there, but the very foundation is always creaking and crumbling at your feet. If you’re an old school Konami fan, it’s worth $10 or less to experience and keep as a fascinating piece in your collection, but Konami Wai Wai World’s wealth of characters and stages are still better experienced within their own games.
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